My Boy Iggy

I know it’s been a while since I wrote a blog but believe it or not I really didn’t have much to say. I really don’t want to be one of these people who blogs just because they can. I rather use my blogging for a real purpose, to offer hope, inspiration and ideas on how to live with and maybe even thrive with an acquired brain injury. That being said, in this blog I want to talk about a really fun way to stay active.

I have always said that one day I would adopt either a pit bull or a boxer breed of dog as they are some of the most common breeds to get euthanized. Now that I am only be working 15 hrs per week I thought getting a dog now would be a good time as I can devote the proper time to it. So, on August 16, 2011 we adopted a pit bull/boxer cross named Iggy. And thus started a relationship that I have come to see not only (potentially) saved Iggy’s life but mine too in a round about way.

The reasons for Iggy are a little more clear, cute and easy to handle as a puppy but harder to handle as an adult. And it’s when they become an adult and they haven’t had the proper training and are harder to handle people decide to surrender the dogs. That is why so many of these breeds get surrendered and in most cases euthanized. So my goal is to train Iggy to be a well adjusted friendly loving dog and show people that with a little time and effort pit bulls and Bulldogs can be great dogs.

As for how this process can help my life, well, it keeps my brain active. It keeps me active physically so I benefit and that’s important because I have such limited activities I can now do. Training Iggy is an interaction of sorts. I don’t necessary like to be around a lot of people like I used to pre-accident. Having Iggy forces me out of my comfort zone because I have to teach him social skills. That means interacting with other dogs and their owners so it’s forcing me to be social. And of course there’s the unconditional love you get from a dog. No matter what, I can always count on Iggy to love me no matter how I feel or how I may be acting. And last but not least, there’s satisfaction as I watch Iggy grow and learn to be a well-adjusted loving dog.

Working with Iggy gives me some self worth. It’s not always easy to be home on disability, you begin to doubt your contribution to your family your friends your life in general. Having Iggy shows me I’m making a contribution. Where once I was relied on by my family they don’t rely on me the same way because they understand some of the shortcomings. Iggy relies on me all the time for almost everything and that makes me feel good. He really does help my self-esteem.

So there you have it, the joys of having a dog from the perspective of a brain injured person. If you have finally got to the place where you’re looking for self-worth, for validation I think getting a dog is a great idea. Having said that, it’s also important to note that you must also be in a place of being able to handle some responsibility. If you haven’t evolved in your rehabilitation to the place of having responsibility, being able to follow through with responsibility, than a dog is not for you at this time. Make no mistake, having a dog is a lot of work, a lot of responsibility, so so don’t take this responsibility lightly. Talk to a counselor if you have one, talk to a family member, but before you make the decision to get a dog make sure that you are in the right place in you rehab to take on the responsibility.

Until Next Time Remember,

Where there’s Hope there’s Inspiration

JustJoe
www.justjoeimage.com

So driving to meet my daughter for just a day or so means I will be feeling lousy the whole time I’m with her, not much fun for either of us. All I could do during my conversation was to ensure her I love her dearly and miss her to the point of my heart aching. I know I talk about moving forward and working strategies to get through the struggles but there are times when it just sucks and this is one of those times.

I am so lucky to have an amazing daughter who understands the situation and stands beside me and for that I love her with all my heart. However, being limited to how much I see her because of my brain injury may be the hard fact but I don’t have to like it and having a brain injury sometimes, it just sucks!

Until Next Time Remember,

Where there’s Hope there’s Inspiration

JustJoe
www.justjoeimage.com

You’re probably asking how come I am so sure of the worthiness of living with the pain? It’s because I live through it every single day and I wouldn’t change it for anything other than not having a brain injury in the first place. I have just accepted the fact that pain is part of my day to day and, as much as possible, I am not going to let it rule me. Having said that I still am very aware of what things will flare the pain and work to stay away from situations that can make matters worse. Don’t get me wrong I do get frustrated from time to time and actually allow myself those moments but, for just a short time and then it’s chin up and move on.

The most frustrating time for me is thinking too hard. You’re probably saying what? For me a real challenge is if I focus on a task too long my headache really starts to flare and then my head feels so heavy it’s like I can’t hold it up. I don’t want to stop but if I don’t I risk turning this into a multi day suffering so I stop and sometimes feel so frustrated I want to hit something. I don’t hit anything because I recognize the feeling and switch my thought to calming down. I then look at all I got accomplished before I had to stop and realize the sooner I get the pain under control the sooner I can resume the task. I also try to look at the pain as validation that I was really getting something done because my brain is really tired. Kinda like using weights, you know, you can only pump so much before it begins to hurt and you tire. When that happens we are all positive saying it’s a good thing and it was a good workout. Well, that’s how I try to look at it with my brain, I gave it a good workout but now it’s time to rest.

No pain no gain when pumping weights and no pain no gain when pumping my brain. I try to think that way as much as possible and that helps me get through the pain most of the time. And sometimes, I just got to accept that I have a brain injury and the pain is part of that and it’s OK to feel lousy. sometimes I just have to accept the pain to do something I like and deal with the consequences later. If not, I would miss out on too many things that make me happy. I just try to plan out the days leading up to the event in such a way that I give myself the best chance of enjoying myself with the least amount of pain. If I can plan lots of rest before I go out then maybe my headache will only reach a 5 or 6 instead of say a 7 or 8. Trust me I would take a 5 headache over an 8 headache without thinking twice. I know I’m going to be in pain but I manage it as best I can so I am able to gain the best possible enjoyment at the event.

The pain is there and there is no way around that but don’t let it rule you. Learn the things that help you to control the level of pain and the things that increase the pain and then learn how to work those things to your advantage. This is not going to happen overnight, here I am almost 12 years after my first accident and I’m still learning and refining all the time.

Use the pain as a measurement of your success not your limitations and remember, No Pain No gain!

Until Next Time Remember,

Where there’s Hope there’s Inspiration

JustJoe
www.justjoeimage.com

I sometimes struggle with not being able to do things to the same degree as I did pre-accident. This generally comes out in a way that I push too hard to try and help and in the end I suffer physically for days. I’m extremely lucky to have a lady in my life who never makes me feel guilty if I can’t help the way I would have in the past.

My story is about cutting the grass. For me any exertion of energy that goes longer than about 10 minutes starts to cause me nausea, dizziness and a spike in my headache. Our lawn is much bigger than a 10 minute job. My grass was quite high as result of too much rain and no dry time to get out and cut the grass.

Finally, I had a break in the weather and was able to get outside but, it looked like I might only have only a short time before the rains returned. So, against what I knew to be my limitations I went for it and started cutting at a fast pace without stopping. OK, that was stupid!

Well it didn’t take too long for me to start feeling lousy and as result slowing down. But in my mind all I could think about was I needed to get this done because if I don’t then someone else will have to pick up the slack for me! I soldiered on, got the job done, and paid for it the rest of that day and the next. OK, that was stupid!

I know its frustrating to not always contribute like you use to and to feel like you’re not an equal contributor. But what’s more frustrating, feeling like crap because you pushed it? Not being able to be with your family because you are feeling lousy?

I know at the time it seemed like a good idea and you felt like you were doing your part but, think about this. How does your family feel seeing you so sick and suffering? How does it affect your family when they can’t spend time with you while you recover?

The next time you try to do something that is now beyond your limitations remember, your family understands and isn’t judging you. It is you who is doing the judging, it is you who is feeling like you’re not contributing and it is you who’s feeling inadequate. So, it is you who has to wrap your head around your limitations and to accept them. It is easier said than done but, if you want to be released from the guilt and minimize the physical suffering then learn to accept. Now that isn’t stupid,is it?

Until Next Time Remember,

Where there’s Hope there’s Inspiration

JustJoe
www.justjoeimage.com

So for me to stay in control and maintain a healthy mental outlook I must be aware of the signs that lead to perseveration. Those signs are common for me when I’m heading down the perseveration road. I get big knots in my stomach, I can’t focus on anything, and I get a little panicy. When any or all of these signs begin to show I know it’s time to get the facts about the issue that is bugging me or else it will fester to the point of becoming a full blown case of perseveration.

Most people get in trouble with a situation where they don’t have the facts so instead they tell themselves stories. As an example, you say good morning to a person at work and they respond by ignoring you. At first you think nothing of it and then later it pops into your head and you wonder what that was all about. Then, you remember that during a meeting the day before you did not agree with that person on an issue raised in the meeting. Then you start telling yourself that they are just acting like a baby or if they can’t handle a little conflict then they aren’t very professional so to heck with them! The longer you go without the facts the more you fester (perseverate). Then you finally get the facts and find out the person’s father died later after the meeting, don’t you feel good now? That is why it is important to get the facts as soon as you can to avoid festering and eventual storytelling.

People who live with a brain injury have enough challenges without adding festering and storytelling to the mix. The minute you start to feel yourself fester or begin to tell yourself stories you need to STOP and ask yourself “do I have the facts?” If not, get them right away and I promise life will become less complicated. I’ve heard not only brain injured people but regular folk say “I don’t have a choice it’s the way I am”, not true. Everyone has a choice but sometimes the hardest part of having a choice is knowing you have a choice and then making it.

The choice is yours, get the FACTS or FESTER.

Until Next Time Remember,

Where there’s Hope there’s Inspiration

JustJoe
www.justjoeimage.com

Brain injured folk have such a unique bond because no one understands a brain injury like another brain injured person. And with that insightful knowledge comes a relaxed feeling and camaraderie amongst this group that is special. We just get it without really having to say much and how cool is that?

We accept one another for who we are and despite some physical and/or mental challenges we applaud one another for just making the effort. Any brain injured person who is out there in the world just trying to be the best they can be deserves our respect and encouragement. And for those who have not got to that place yet they deserve patience, loving, encouragement and some (but not to the point of nagging) direction. And by direction I mean talking to a professional, finding sites about brain injury (www.justjoeimage.com) which might help them come to grips with their injury.

Anyway, I never thought I would say this but I am proud to be a brain injured person. Do I wish I never had the accident, of course, but since I did have the accident and I have this injury I’ve accepted it and try to be an example for others.

Where there’s Hope there’s Inspiration

JustJoe
www.justjoeimage.com

I have my happy place, which is a place I go to that’s in my mind where I can be calm and re-gain control. My happy place is from my past where I was sitting on a houseboat at 6 am drinking a cup of coffee and watching the fog on a lake of glass while the background noise was that of a creek running into the lake. It was one of those rare moments where my sense of smell (the coffee), sight (the fog and the lake), and hearing (the sound of the creek) were stimulated all at once making it something I will never forget. So now, no matter how rough I feel or how tense I am, going to my happy place takes it all away.

You might be asking, “how do you go to your happy place when your in the middle of let’s say a meeting?” Well, if you can leave the meeting go to the washroom or, let someone else talk. However you do it you then focus on that happy place and describe it to yourself. For example,

I’m sitting on the back of the boat and look how calm the lake is, it’s like glass.

By describing it to yourself you are then changing what you are thinking about (your brain can only think one thing at a time) and calming yourself with the good thoughts of your happy place. Once you get the hang of this process you can actually do this in an efficient way and then it will be easy to do at any time. I am to the point that no matter what the situation I can quickly go to my happy place, calm myself and still follow what’s going on around me. Of course I am only human so I do slip up from time to time. It’s important that you understand you will slip up from time to time and to give yourself a break, no one is perfect! The only way to get better is to practice.

The work you put into learning this skill will pay off many time throughout your life. It has been one of the best strategies I have learned to help me cope with my injury. I wish you every success. If you would like some further help check out my website at www.justjoeimage.com. You can also contact me through the website with any questions you might have.

Where there’s Hope there’s Inspiration

JustJoe

One of my ongoing symptoms is constant daily headaches. For the last few weeks my headaches have been worse than usual and I just thought is was just a rough patch. At the same time my blood pressure was higher than normal and I really didn’t think much of it. Well, after a couple of weeks of these rough headaches the people that know me best got on my case to go see my doctor, which I finally did.

Well geez did I hear it from my doctor. He immediately put me on blood pressure medication and then made sure I was clear in understanding that not everything is in my head. In other words don’t assume that everything is tied to my brain injury. After just three days on the blood pressure medication my blood pressure has come down quite a bit and is close to normal.

So I guess my message is this, don’t automatically assume if something is not right that it has to do with your existing brain injury. GET IT CHECKED OUT! I got lucky and didn’t find out the hard way my symptoms were new and separate from my brain injury. Learn from my experience because,

IT’S NOT ALWAYS IN YOUR HEAD.

Where There’s Hope There’s Inspiration

Just Joe

JustJoeImage

Since my most recent injury I have lived with ringing ears so I never get absolute quiet. Also, I have found that my short term memory is worse than before the last injury. And my mind races a lot over almost everything. When I play guitar, it helps overshadow the ringing in my ears, it’s just a calm controlled sound that’s very different from the constant ringing.

There is lots of research that says brain injury or not, brain exercise is important. So by teaching myself to play music I have to learn notes and chords, and even though it takes more time than I like I eventually learn. I have got past the frustration of my short term memory issues and just plug away knowing that at some point I will get it. I do lots of writing of things down to help the process as that is a key strategy we all learn in our cognitive rehab sessions. I had to say that or deal with the wrath of my daughter who is a cognitive therapist.

My mind races with all kinds of thoughts and that can be very tiring. I was told the “industry term” for this was called “perseveration”. I try to explain to people by asking if they have ever seen the disk drive of a computer? Those things spin at an incredible speed while processing tons of information, that how my brain feels. Teaching myself and playing guitar seems to help my brain focus on that task at hand and since I am just learning, things are slow. It is an amazing sense of calm I feel while playing guitar, it allows me to escape from that “racing” feeling I live with most of the time.

Now, the big question, how is my playing coming along? As far as I’m concerned, fantastic. As far as those who have to listen to me, who knows, beauty is in the ear of the beholder after all.

I hope that this blog gives whoever reads it some food for thought in coping with some symptoms of their brain injury. I can’t say it will work for you as everyone is different, but it can’t hurt. If you want to discuss how to get started drop me an email at joe@justjoeimage.com as I can maybe save you some time by sharing how I got going on a limited budget.

Remember,

Where There is Hope There is Inspiration!
Just Joe
JustJoeImage

When high priced assets are all of a sudden on the shelf because they have suffered a head injury people suddenly stop and take notice. That’s a good thing because up to just a couple years ago head injuries were not being looked at with the urgency they deserved.

So even though it took the big people to finally get head injury awareness into the spotlight it will be the little people who will reap the benefits. All of us who live with a brain injury should be thankful..

What do you think? Leave me a comment.

JustJoe